Emotional Responses
We all share a fundamental desire to be happy. While we share this desire many people wait for circumstances or the people in our lives to change, so that we can be happy. But we realize that changing the outside will only temporarily offer happiness.
Since we were children, many of us have been taught to look at the world for fulfillment from an early age and we began accumulating possessions and positions and power, which we hope will provide us happiness. There are many disconnections in this approach. The first is that no amount of power, money or world belongings is capable of satisfying our deepest longing for inner peace. The second problem is even if we do feel some temporary pleasure from these objects they are sure to fade over time causing us to experience a proportionate amount of loss and disappointment.
The noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow expressed his famous theory, Hierarchy of Needs. Beyond physiological hunger, we can express these as four fundamental human needs of: attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance. When our basic needs are met feelings of comfort, pleasure and happiness are present. However, when our needs are not met we feel distress, pain and sadness.
When these feelings are repressed or retained, eventually, we may feel depressed, anxious, guilty, or hostile. The more skilled we become at meeting our needs more likely we are to feel comfortable, happy, and at peace.
The following are the possible human responses to unmeet needs:
Fight or Flight this response is based on fear and the perception that our environment is threatening. It is an ancient primitive response grounded in the survival instinct serving to keep the body protected. When in the fight flight response are heartbeats faster blood pressure rises. Breathing is more rapid adrenaline increases, and our immune system is suppressed.
The Reactive Response is slightly disguised as fight or flight but the psychological equivalent. These emotions are in the domain of the ego, and when ego boundaries are crossed, uncomfortable feelings are generated. Criticism, anger, sarcasm, and disrespect our psychological versions of the fight response while withdrawal sulking, shutting down and pouting are flight emotional responses.
The vast majority of human beings are using the first two responses on a daily basis. However, human beings have been given the incredible gift of choice and free will. Our responses to unmeet needs can be automatic, and based on the instinct to survive, we have the ability to shift our ego based life internal reference point to a soul based one.
Restful Awareness is shifting from ego to spirit. This response has been available for thousands of years. It is solicited through the practice of meditation which provides the technology to expand our internal reference point when we begin to witness the activity of the mind we become capable of the conscious choice making.
The Intuitive Response Deep within us is a wise knowing being which we can access when we quiet the noise of our minds, and live in present moment awareness. In this awareness we can more easily observe the emotions arising within us, rather than remaining stuck in past laden assessments and evaluations. Coming from the intuitive response we avoid using words that encourage victimization. We noticed when we are coming from interpretation and choose to come from conscious observation and authentic expression.
The Creative Response creativity is the process of applying a new context or meaning to a circumstance or situation, thereby allowing someone or something to manifest that has not been seen before. Novel solutions can emerge when you approach a challenge by quieting down your inner dialogue, and looking within. The solution to a problem is rarely on the level of the problem, rather expanding your perspective enables you to see the challenge in a new light.
Visionary Response Every one of us is living a mythological life. We have the potential to be gods and goddesses by living from the collective soul level and tuning into the realm of collective dreams, the visionary response reflects connection with this archetypal realm, and enables us to consciously participate in the story of our lives. The great leaders and figures of history have recognized, and given their lives to a vision of what is possible.
Sacred Response When our sense of self expands, we go beyond constricted, ego based awareness to the recognition of self in the object of our perception. At this level of unity consciousness, compassion is a natural expression. We transcend our unconscious obsession with “what’s in it for me?” and dwell in “how can I be of service?” We realize we are all made of the same essence and our points of perspective in universal being. Like waves on the ocean, each of us is an individual expression of the one non-local, spirit.
One of my favorite memorable quotes from Chopra was, “We are all doing our best from our level of consciousness”. I often stop and think about that when I want to respond from a lower level myself. Just pause and imagine, what would your response’s look like or feel like, if you chose a more conscious response?
